So I’m pretty sure that I nursed A for the last time last night. Before I went to bed, I wrote this letter really quick to help me remember. I’ve said before, I’m not great with his baby book, but I’m a good letter writer :) Oh and after looking through my birth/one month folder for these pictures I decided to look at all of them before bed. All 610 of them.
Tonight I nursed you for what I think will be the last time. Over the last couple months, you have dropped your day feedings. Recently, we had been down to two or three times a day. This week we dropped the morning feed. I wanted to keep it up, but now, I fear that I’m just out. Tonight you had to work a little to hard to nurse.
So, before there are any tears or frustration, I think we will end things on a good note. I thought there would be more pomp and circumstance at the end, but all I feel is sad. Like sadder than I was when you turned one. The last connection that I had with you as a baby is gone. If I’m not nursing you, you don’t really like to be rocked. You want to jump out of my arms into your bed. When you are ready for bed, you are ready. I will miss our snuggle time just you and I before bed.
I’m proud of the last 12+ months we’ve had together. I was very blessed that I had a relatively easy time. I can’t believe that I was able to grow you for so long even after you were born. There were days when I just didn’t feel like nursing at all. I wanted my body back. I didn’t want to be chained down. But I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
My crazy active boy, don’t forget to give your mama extra lovin’ these next couple days, I think she might need it.