You know how as a parent there will be times you just have to sit back and let your kids make mistakes because how else will they learn? Well I had to to this yesterday and it wasn’t to A. It was to another mom at our play group. Let me back up by saying I love our play group. I’ve talked about it before how I’m so glad that I’ve found a group that lifts each other up.. I really love it. A loves it. He has so many friends that he loves playing with.
With that being said, two aspects of group drive me crazy. First, I do not like it when people put their diaper bags on the floor, wide open with keys, cups,and phones hanging out. Because my child can spot an Iphone from a mile away. And you best believe he will dive into your bag and rummage around. Secondly, I do not like it when upon arrival to group some moms just whip out the cups and snacks. I understand that snacks keep kids in line but A is able to pick up a dried up pea that I missed sweeping so yeah he is going to swoop in on your puffs. Some are nice enough to share with him but a.) I don’t necessarily want him eating what another kid might be eating and b.) I don’t want him to learn that he can have food whenever he wants. The kid has a serious mooching problem so we are trying to establish some boundaries that just because someone else is eating doesn’t mean you get some.
I know what you are probably thinking. Just control your kid! Yeah, I feel like that’s what the other moms are thinking about me too. Well, easier said that done with an 11 month old. As much as I pull him away, he just keeps going at it. He will go from bag to bag until he finds what he wants. This caper of his has caused a lot of anxiety on my part. I hate the fact that I have to jump across the play mat multiple times to pull him out of places. I hate that he just keeps hitting up the same people. I hate the looks that I get sometimes when he keeps going back. I feel like everyone is looking at me like I can’t control A. And I can’t. He is a baby! Like I said, the most I can do is pull him out and hope for another distraction.
So when a repeat offender dropped her bag on the floor yesterday I decided that I was just going to let him go over there, get into everything and maybe she would put everything away. It kind of worked. She at least zipped up her bag. But I still feel like a putz for not being able to keep A out of other people’s bags.
I should point out that A isn't the only kid with this problem at group. A couple other friends and I have talked about this problem. There have been times I have asked if I could put up a diaper bag out of reach. At our music class, it is required that all moms put their diaper bags up on a table so they aren’t a distraction and no snacks are allowed. I take care to put up my bag when we go to play group so that no one can get in. Is it wrong to want the other moms to do so? My friend was nice enough to email the play group instructor to ask if we could do the same thing as music class. I think it will be a good thing. But I know that everyone will know that it’s because of A. Ha ha. Oh well.
Does anyone else have this problem? How would you feel if you were asked to put up your bag at the beginning of class?
Ha! My daughter loves purses and bags. It doesn't really matter who's bag it is. She is always digging in my purse or her diaper bag at home and I let her. But she hasn't really tried to go into anyone else's purse or bags when we are out. I think it's an un-written rule that if you don't want other kids playing in your bag, then hide it! Otherwise, all bets are off! I don't really care if other babies dig in her bag. There's nothing in there that can hurt them. What's five minutes of clean up time to me if it keeps them happy for 30!
ReplyDeleteIt's so frustrating when one parents' methods and ideas are so different than another's! I totally agree - no one should expect an 11 month old to be able to restrain himself from exploring his environment. Especially since this is a playgroup, right? So he's in 'play' mode!
ReplyDeleteWe run into this in church - I would have liked to teach Clara to learn how to sit through the service, colouring or maybe playing quietly with toys at her chair, but there are a group of about 6-year-old girls who collect their toys together and sit in a clump at the back of the room and play - somewhat loudly. Now I feel like I can't ask Clara to possibly stay with us, when more exciting people are playing, but I still don't like how loud they are! It's not fair of me to tell other parents how their kids should be in church, but it affects how my kid is in church! I'm thinking this is going to be a constant parenting dilemma... :)
I would have no problem at all putting my bag on a table out of reach of little hands. My daughter is a rummager too. I can't imagine any mama should care too much, as long as the bag is in the same room and not super far out of reach. Glad you found a playgroup you love. I'd love to start one here!
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's wrong at all - but I can see how some moms would get snooty about it and all MYKIDSBETTERTHANYOURS. I totally agree with you!
ReplyDeleteThe mooching! Yes my daughter V always seems to get food off of other people. I feel a little better if it is individually packaged, but open shared containers, germs grand central station!
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