Don’t worry. This isn’t a New Years pledge post or anything. This is about a different kind of weight. More of a symbolic kind of weight.
See, lately I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed with the responsibility of A’s development. Sure he is well taken care of (although at the moment he is chewing on a napkin). Loved beyond belief. Although I don’t know what he’s thinking, I believe he feels safe and secure in his little world. But just when I think I have a handle on things, boom! something else pops up that I worry about.
Lately, I have been worrying about A’s development. Am I doing enough? Do I say enough words to him? Do I sufficiently narrate everyday life? Do I read to him enough? Should he be saying words already? He never sits still. Could he have ADHD or something?
I see the moms at play group that narrate everything to their little ones. Do sign language. Should that be me? I have been more of a sit back and let him explore kind of mom so far. We’ve done signs but I’ve been half hearted about it.
I’m sure this is all typical new parent stuff. I think one of the reasons I freak out about his development is that all his little friends are 3 to 4 months older than him. So of course they are already identifying dogs, cats, and saying words.
Everybody tells me how advanced A is. Why can’t I see it?
Anybody else worry about this stuff?
I worry about this stuff all of the time, and usually people don't make it easier. When one of Ethan's little friends (and like A, all of Ethan's friends are anywhere from 2-6 months older than he is!) was walking at SEVEN MONTHS, another mom playing at the same indoor play center asked me if I was concerned that my child wasn't walking yet. Erm, no. Walking at 7 months is a huge feat, not exactly average. And, yet, as 11 months hit, and then 12 months, I started losing my mind with worry and remembering that once instance all those months ago! At 13 months, Ethan was walking like he'd been walking forever and I felt so silly for worrying buuuut...I guess that's motherhood, especially when it's your first time? I'm always worrying about something. These days, it's Ethan's shyness. He's so shy. He loves to run and play and go nuts but when new people are around, he hides and lets kids push him down or take his toys. If he gets a weird vibe from someone at a mommy and me class, he hides in my shirt and can't enjoy himself. Everyone says it's a phase and it's normal to go through that, but I worry. I worry I'm somehow making him nervous and anxious and not pushing him enough and am screwing him up for life somehow. SIGH.
ReplyDeleteYup, I worry about this too. More so when Oliver was younger, because he always seemed behind other kids his age when it came to moving (he was a late crawler/walker etc) and people would make comments. Oliver had just learnt to crawl while another kid his age was climbing ladders! Seriously (I came to realise that kid was just very advanced lol). Now that he's caught up movement wise and is saying words, I'm not so concerned but I think it's pretty normal for us Mums to worry about these things. Just another one of the joys of motherhood :) You're doing a great job Steph :)
ReplyDeletePS - Don't worry yourself over the sign language thing. Where I live, it's a real status symbol thing if your kid can sign. I do think it's a great tool and can really help kids that struggle to talk and are frustrated but we never did it (and Oliver is developing just fine when it comes to communicating :) ).
I worry about stuff like this all the time, but I know that E (And A!) are both just fine. Its just first-time mom jitters, and it's normal!
ReplyDeleteE isn't walking yet... does that make you feel a little better? ;-)
I worry about this all the time!! Mackenzie is 19 months and says 3 words....total! So I've worried about EVERYTHING you mentioned above. But I learned to switch my focus from what other kids her age know and do and instead focus on what she does know. Every day she does something I tell myself, 'see she knows to go to her room for a diaper change, or climb into her chair when I say it's time to eat, or how to kick a ball, or how she tries to put on her shoe/sock/take off her clothes.'
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to not feel like you are 'failing' you baby, I've been there. Try to focus on all that he does know since I'm sure it's a lot! And like every mom I know has told me, 'every child learns at their own pace and does things in their own time, you can't compare them.' HArd not to, I know. :)